Camping Trip From Hell!
by MissDoubleONinja
Summary: Inuyasha and Miroku are forced by their wives to take their kids camping. Simple enough, right? With these guys, nothing is EVER simple, especially with the damn rain and squirrels from hell! Twoshot.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I DO own Inuyasha and all their characters.

….notice the sarcasm?

Ok, so this is basically what I think would happen if Inuyasha and Miroku took their kids camping.

Also, Kaoru is Inuyasha's son. If you're trying to imagine him, think of Inuyasha with short hair and brown eyes.

Enjoy the story!

Chapter One

Inuyasha

"Why the hell do I have to do it?" Yelled Inuyasha.

"Because you need bonding time with your son!" Yelled Kagome back.

You see, Kagome had told Inuyasha that he needed to spend some time with their kid on a camping trip and Inuyasha didn't take it too well.

"I'll spend time with him, just not on a camping trip!"

"Inuyasha, if you try to argue one more time, I swear to god, I will yell-!"

"Ok, I get it! I'll go on the stupid trip!" Yelled Inuyasha quickly. Kagome had gotten close to saying the word of death: sit!

"But you have to take me back to your era to go shop for food!"

"I already bought some." Said Kagome.

"What? Why didn't you take me with you?"

"Well, let's see!" Yelled Kagome, frowning. "Let's think back to the LAST TIME I took you to the store!"

Flashback!

Inuyasha was walking into the store with Kagome, when he smelled his favorite food: chocolate.

He raced into the store and yelled at the top of his lungs, "WHERE'S THE CANDY?"

Then he noticed the candy aisle and started shoving chocolate in his mouth.

Everyone stared at him and someone said, "He's from cosplayers gone wild!"

Kagome couldn't show her face in public for weeks.

End of flashback

"I still don't understand why you were so embarrassed." Said Inuyasha.

Before Kagome could reply, Kaoru entered the room. "Hey, mom, dad." Said Kaoru. "What are you talking about?"

"You're going on a camping trip with your father." Said Kagome matter-of-factly.

Kaoru's eyes widened. "NO WAY! NO WAY IN HELL!"

"That's what I said!" Exclaimed Inuyasha.

"I don't care what you say, you're still going!" Yelled Kagome.

"But-."

"DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY!"

The two half-demons fell silent.

"Thank you. Now I've packed all the stuff." Kagome handed them two huge backpacks.

"Now go!"

The two men ran out the door before Kagome grabbed her arrows.

They finally found a good spot to set up camp.

"Ok." Said Inuyasha. "Let's set up the tent!"

They pulled the tent, nails, and hammer out of the backpack.

"Alright, let's get to work!" Yelled Inuyasha.

He looked at the hammer.

He looked at the tent.

He looked back at the hammer.

"HOW THE HELL DO I DO THIS?" Yelled Inuyasha.

"Let's,er, try spreading it out!" Said Kaoru.

He grabbed one side of the tent and Inuyasha grabbed the other side.

"Pull!" Yelled Kaoru and the two pulled on the tent with all their might. The tent ripped in half.

"…So much for that idea." Muttered Kaoru. "Let's make dinner."

Kaoru grabbed some wood and threw it at his father. "You make fire and I'll catch some fish."

With that, Kaoru turned around and ran to the lake.

Inuyasha glared at the wood.

"Burn." He commanded. The wood didn't burn.

"BURN, DAMN YOU!" The wood still didn't burn.

"That's it!" Inuyasha pulled out his Tetsusaiga. " "WIND SCAR!" He yelled, sending out his powerful attack.

It destroyed almost all the trees and the wood. Kaoru stared at his father, wide-eyed and empty handed.

"Where's the fish?" Asked Inuyasha.

"I dropped them out of shock and they were destroyed by the Wind Scar!" Exclaimed Kaoru, extremely pissed. "Augh, how could this get any WORSE?"

That's when it started to rain.

Kaoru glared. "You know what? Screw this, I'm going home!"

He turned around and ran home, Inuyasha right behind him.

Kagome heard a knock and answered the door.

She was surprised to see a dirty, soaking wet, disgruntled Inuyasha and Kaoru.

"You two certainly didn't take your time coming home." Said Kagome, slightly surprised. "Did you enjoy your trip?"

Inuyasha and Kaoru look at each other and then glared at Kagome.

"Oh, yeah. We had a GREAT time!"

Chapter two should be up soon! It should be interesting to see how Miroku takes his kids camping. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. I can't stress how much I would LOVE to, though.

Ok, so this is how Miroku would take his kids camping. How does he do it, you might ask? Read and find out!

Btw, Miroku has two kids: Haru and Hiro. Haru is the oldest child, about 14. Hiro is about 5.

Miroku

"Miroku! Haru! Hiro! Can you come here for a second?" Shouted Sango.

They all ran into the room.

"What's up mom?" Asked Haru.

"I've decided that you all need bonding time, so you're going camping."

The three men started yelling at once.

"But I don't want to!" Yelled Hiro. "What if he makes me bleed and cry and faint like Haru (read my story The Most Dreaded Of All Days for details)?"

"Yeah!" Exclaimed Haru. "And I was gonna hang out with Kaoru!"

"And I was gonna watch porn tapes that Inuyasha brought me from Kagome's Era!" Yelled Miroku.

"Look, I know you all don't- whoa, whoa, whoa! Miroku, what did you say?"

Miroku suddenly grew nervous. "N-nothing!"

Sango exploded. "YOU HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS AND YOUR WATCHING PORN TAPES?"

Before Miroku could lie and say he wasn't, Sango hit him so hard he was knocked out cold.

"I'll go pack your stuff." Said Sango. "When your father wakes up, tell him he's going on the trip."

"Ok, let's set up the tent." Said Miroku, pulling it out of the bag.

After a near death experience with a pissed off bear and some violent squirrels, they had finally found a good spot to set up camp.

"Who would've thought nuts could hurt so much." Muttered Haru, rubbing his head with one hand and gripping the tent with the other.

"On my count." Said Miroku. "One…..two….THREE!"

Luckily, Miroku and Haru didn't have demon strength like Inuyasha and Kaoru, so the tent was spread out perfectly.

"Right…..so I believe we're supposed to nail down the corners." Said Miroku, pulling nails and a hammer out of the bag.

He placed a nail on one corner of the tent and aimed the hammer at the nail.

Unfortunately, it missed the nail and hit his hand.

"Ow! OW, DAMMIT!" Yelled Miroku, holding his injured hand.

"DADDY SAID A BAD WOOOOOOORD!" Yelled Hiro, pointing at his father.

Miroku suddenly felt scared for his life. "Hiro, please, please, PLEASE don't tell your mother I said that! I enjoy living!"

Miroku could only imagine what Sango would do to him if she found out he said dammit in front of Hiro.

"If you keep your mouth shut, I'll pay you 100 yen."

"Deal!" Said Hiro, not realizing that 100 yen was only a dollar.

Haru rolled his eyes and snorted.

Then, they heard a scuffling noise behind them and they turned around.

They saw two squirrels wrestling quite ferociously.

"Observe the squirrels, boys." Said Miroku wisely. "They are demonstrating the proper way to "wrestle" with women, and this could be a learning experience for you two. Learn from the squirrels, children, learn from the squirrels."

Hiro remembered the violent squirrels from earlier and screamed, "The squirrels are scaring me!"

"Their scaring you?" Said Miroku. "Well, I can help you!"

He pulled the seal off his hand. "WIND TUNNEL!" He shouted, sucking in the squirrels.

The moment they were out of sight, he sealed the wind tunnel.

"There." Said Miroku, turning to Hiro. "Is that better?"

To his surprise, he saw tears welling up in his son's eyes.

"YOU KILLED THEM! YOU KILLED THE BABY SQUIRRELS! YOU'RE A BABY SQUIRREL MURDERER! WAHHHHHHH!"

Oh, damn! Miroku had forgotten how sensitive his son was, especially to animals.

He hadn't forgotten the time he told Hiro where bacon came from…..

Flashback!

Miroku, Haru, and Hiro were in the kitchen munching on eggs and bacon while Sango washed the dishes.

"I love bacon!" Said Hiro happily, stuffing his tenth piece of bacon in his mouth. "Where does it come from?"

"It comes from pigs that don't get to live so we can eat meat." Said Miroku bluntly.

Sango glared at her husband.

Hiro completely lost it. "BABY PIGGIES? I ATE…..BABY PIGGIES? WAHHHHHHHH!"

They hadn't been able to get him to eat bacon for months.

End of flashback.

"WHY'D YOU KILL THE SQUIRRELS DADDY?"

"They were scaring you!" Said Miroku.

"BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO K-K- KILL THEM!" Shouted Hiro, crying even harder.

Miroku looked at Haru desperately. "Haru, HELP M- what are you doing?"

Haru was sitting on a rock, writing.

Haru looked up.

"Writing a farewell letter." He said, handing Miroku the letter.

Miroku started reading:

Dear Sakura (Haru's girlfriend),

I regret to tell you that I may not come back alive.

Dad made Hiro cry, so we are going to suffer death by mother.

I love you.

Love,

Haru

Miroku glared at his son.

"We aren't screwed yet!" Yelled Miroku. "We need to think!"

So they pondered the situation. Then Haru sat up straight.

"I got it!" He exclaimed, walking over to Hiro.

"W-what d-d- do you w-w-want?" Asked Hiro, sniffling.

"Hiro." Said Haru with a smile. "The squirrels aren't dead."

Hiro brightened instantly. "Really?"

"Yes. Their just,er, taking a nap in the tunnel." Lied Haru.

"Yay!" Cheered Hiro happily.

Miroku and Haru sighed in relief.

They were just lucky Hiro wasn't too intelligent yet.

Hiro's smile faded slightly.

"But I'm really hungry!" Complained Hiro.

"Mom gave me a granola bar, just in case." Said Haru, pulling the granola bar out of his pocket.

Hiro. Went. Wild.

He screamed and tackled his brother, reaching for the granola bar.

"Dad!" Yelled a struggling Haru. "Help me!"

Miroku developed a sudden interest in the trees.

Hiro grabbed the granola bar and stuffed it whole in his mouth.

Haru got off the ground, dusting himself off.

"Thanks for the help, dad." Said Haru sarcastically, glaring. "Anyway, don't you think we should go home?"

"Why do you think that?" Asked Miroku.

Haru glared. "Well, LET'S SEE! We nearly get mauled by a bear and SQUIRRELS, you nearly break your hand setting up the FREAKING TENT, you tried to explain sex to us using SQUIRRELS, and-!" Haru broke off, suddenly wide-eyed.

Miroku and Hiro turned to see what he was staring at and their eyes widened too.

Standing in the trees were squirrels, glaring and armed with nuts.

"Don't make any sudden movement." Whispered Miroku.

"HOLY SHIT, IT'S THE SQUIRRELS FROM THIS MORNING! RUN LIKE HELL!" Shouted Haru, sprinting home.

"So much for no sudden movements." Muttered Miroku as he and Hiro ran right behind Haru, avoiding the nut assault as best as they could.

Sango heard three fists banging on the door.

She opened it and saw a disgruntled, nut-covered Miroku, Haru, and Hiro.

"You guys sure came back quickly. And are you covered in….nuts?"

They all just glared.

"So I take it the trip didn't go so well?" Said Sango.

"Oh, NO!" Said Haru sarcastically. "It was GREAT! What ever made you think it totally SUCKED?"

THE END

Please review!


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